from the Crow's Nest ...

-- "You’re next...!!"

-- "Oh Really ??"   

A common question has always plagued the young generation. The question of when someone will say an “I Do” or “Kabul Hai” or walk 7 rounds around the fire.

And while an opposition to the institution has always been there, anti-marriage stances have always been considered blasphemous.

The recent uproar is due to a comment by Eva Mendes who went on air saying,” It’s (marriage) a very old-fashioned, archaic kind of thing! I don’t think it fits in my world today.”

This is exactly what we need to look at, in today’s time. Marriage was never supposed to be a binding; it was always about bonding. But this is one area where we are stuck as a society, if not perpetually, for quite some time now certainly.

We still expect the trajectory in a boy’s life will be a career and a marriage then; the girl’s will be a marriage and if possible, a career then. Any deviation or detour will draw a thousand jeers, questions, frowns, pointed fingers. Introspection. Compromise. Self-imposed exile maybe.

The flow of relations, however, has always been the same. People have fallen in love -- fallen in love without prejudice, without expectations; most importantly, people have fallen in love without the promise of a haloed marriage.

Yet, the fixation with the institution continues. The beautifully framed picture, about the inevitability of marriage, keeps adorning our drawing-rooms. The hangover still strong, the belief in this empty rhetoric is maddening.

If we follow the ideologies strongly, we get to see that right from the communists to the post-modernists, people have always denounced the institution of marriage. But it is the strong feudal and patriarchal air that hangs around, which is still calling the shots in today’s world. Imagine this, in a Hindu marriage, the tradition requires the groom to hand over a pair of sarees to his newly-wed bride and say – “From today onwards, I will take care of your food and clothes.” Down South, the tradition is more pathetic. The groom will have to leave the ceremony-house; the bride’s father is required to coax him back and persuade him to marry his daughter.

Then what if the wife runs the house? Maybe a divorce makes her raise their 2 kids single-handedly? Where’s the respect then?

And then we talk of women-empowerment and celebrate Women’s Day?

With such a thick air of rigidity and obstinacy around such a concept, breaking free or thinking of a world minus the M-word falls just short of a utopia.

But when I look at the Bachelors’ Club, I go moonstruck. When people think and staunchly believe that without marriage, a person’s life will be miserable, it’s time we take a look at “The Club”.

From the yesteryear to the realms of present, from the reel-world to the world of comics, the Bachelors’ Club is colourful to the last alphabet, the list comprising of a complete Who’s Who of all the worlds.

While we have right from Sir Isaac Newton, Helen Keller, Florence Nightingale, Ludwig Van Beethoven, Franz Kafka, Vincent Van Gogh to our very own Lata Mangeshkar, Dr. A P J Abdul Kalam, Dr. B C Roy and Acharya Prafulla Chandra Roy – we also have George Clooney to Al Pacino, Sherlock Holmes to Tintin – all the accomplished achievers are right there in that club.

And while we are re-reading the names, let me add a small disclaimer – the fact that all of them were/are unmarried does not signify that they were/are against the institution of marriage. This is only to prove that marriage never is the only/sole purpose or objectivity of life. Life can be much more worthwhile during our lifetime.

But again, as I look at this strange institution called marriage, I gape in awe at the stupendous stupidity-trap we have created as human-beings. Human race has always felt the urge to bind him to rigid rules, sometimes bordering on insane logics even. The intransigent crowd is too much bent on giving name to relations.

Al Pacino once said the right words – “Why have I never proposed in the past? I hate to say this, but marriage is a state of mind, not a contract. When I think about the law and the marriage, I ask myself ‘When did the cops get involved?’ “

This has to be the order of the day. Society needs to understand, we have to get used to the notion that it’s basically love which holds us together. Not 4 walls and 1 ceiling.

Culture Curry :

                                                         "Cultural Veggies" over "Junkies" 

Few days before, I happened to watch a recent box-office dazzler of one of the most sought after hotshots of Indian film Industry – Salman Khan in ‘Ready’- the film that promises endless ‘Dhinka-chikas’ to the audiences India-wide if not, worldwide Indians.

Aneez Bazmee , the director with 39 titles as a writer and 11 titles as a director, came out with a movie that evidently contradicts the recent trend of ‘intelligent’ cinema in India. The audiences flung the theatre to get rained by dialogues that will keep them away from the prosaic insecurities – so that they can keep their brains at the doorstep of the hall and laugh the hell out at every scene.

They inherently support what Mr. Warhol(a NYT reporter) said,” What I “think” is boring” – they don't want to think when they are into any sort of entertainment.

But, does it symbolically represent the fact that Indian audiences are suffering from cultural fatigue, and are not willing to grab the “cultural vegetables”?  Do they really want the theatres to be a cornucopia of “junk foods”?

The statistics of Hindi cinema this year claims ‘Yamla Pagla Dewana’ to be the highest grosser of this year – and ‘Ready’ if it continues its rage for one more week, it is going to be the undisputable grosser at least till Diwali , no doubt .

 Thinking is boring – so, Sajid Khans, Farah Khans, Bazmees industrially make movies to entertain. And, if you are entertained, you won’t have time and head space to think how crummy, shoddily directed, badly written and inane the movie looks. And, so, the images keep zipping, the dialogues keeps on trying a  laugh-riot and actor dancing at serene locales so as if to reassure you that the money you spent for ticket is well worth all this clamor that started months ago still it buzzed in the ears.

But, the stay is momentary. I, and I can well assure you all, still plug in the DVDs of Golmaal(the old one) and at least Hera Pheri(Priyadarshan) when we want refresh ourselves with the rolls of laughter. Are they boring? Or, can you enjoy them keeping your brains getting frozen in the refrigerator? – Hopefully, not. And, never entertainment meant mindlessness. And, mindlessness is never entertaining.

 So, is ‘thinking’ boring? – looking at the larger trend, the inference is confusing.  

Though, looking at the box-office revenue earning, the answer seems ‘yes’. But, if you believe in positive notes, and if you believe, looking at the growing economic actions, India and China can be the best bet over US dominance, the evolution is evident – the era of ‘intelligent’ movies is on and is here to stay.  The sophomoric shock-humor is a short –lived fad as an entertainment buffer.

And, the hegemony of the big-budgeted star-struck dramas is cornered by the supposedly new-age ‘intelligent’ slick films – it is a style derived for the long –term evolution of Indian cinema. ’Junk-foods’ are never an option !!

From the desk of a Guest Writer:

Naukadubi – Tagore Revisited

Prosenjit and Raima in a still from Naukadubi

Rituparno Ghosh is a gem of the twenty-first century Bengali Film Industry and of course one of my favourite directors. His films have got a different taste and take the viewers to a different height.

His recent directorial venture 'Naukadubi' (The boat wreck) was able to get my attraction to the fullest. It has been inspired by the original work of Rabindranath Tagore.

Recently in an interview Rituporno said that Noukadubi is not a very popular work of Tagore. But he still chose this story; and has proved that it is popular in its own ways.

The whole story revolves around four characters, Ramesh (Jishu Sengupta), Hemnalini (Raima Sen), Kamala (Ria Sen), Nalinakhkha (Prasenjit Chatterjee) – their emotional journey of love. This story pictured how the fate of all of them are torn apart by an ugly natural disaster and how they cross each other in different intersections of life.

All the four characters are very well portrayed in the sense that relationships have no boundaries in spite of the conditions prevailing in our society in that era.

We could see tender love blossoming between a law student, Ramesh and his friend's sister, Hemnalini, which later gets torn and tattered when a mysterious letter comes to Ramesh from his father. And he surprisingly comes to know that he has to marry Susheela who is a poor, uneducated girl. In spite of the commitment toward his love, Ramesh had to marry according to his father's wish.
After getting married Ramesh sets off for Kolkata on a river with his newly wedded bride – Susheela. But on the way they were hit by an ugly storm – changing the fate of all of them. After gaining conscience Ramesh could only see the bride and there were no one else alive or dead. They finally return to Kolkata in a train. But the bride keeps on wondering why they are not going back to Kashi but still trusts and honours the judgement implicitly.
In the course of time Ramesh realizes that his actual wife Susheela was taken by the storm and the woman with whom he is sharing his daily integrities of life is the wife of another person residing in Kashi and his name is Nalinakhkha Chattopadhay. Now will Ramesh reconnect with his love? or search for Nalinakhkha, Kamala's husband? Or follow his responsibilities as husband of Kamala?
A lot of incidents happen in the movie and each one is invariably connected to the other. At times it may seem confusing but at the same time we can see different dimensions and layers in almost all the characters.
As the story mainly revolves around Ramesh, Hemnalini and Kamala and their emotional journey of love, affection and responsibilities. Hemnalini remains loyal to Ramesh till the end though there was a change of heart for a short span of time where she thought that Nalinakhkha is the perfect man of her life and can relieve her from all her griefs.
The film has got in it some reflections of Satyajit Ray. Jishu Sengupta made me recollect the memories of Satyajit Ray and none other than Saumitra Chatterjee in 'Apur Sangsar'. Even Ria had glimpses of Sharlima in her. Now we might start thinking why haven't yet Rituporno thought of remaking 'Apur Sangsar' with Jishu and Ria (Trust me they would look wonderful).
Jishu was very natural just the way we saw him in 'Abohoman'. He has improved a lot as an actor and has the talent to rise much higher and moreover he has already set an expectation in the viewers mind with his performance in this movie.

Ria was the surprise package or we might say the 'Show Stealer'. With voice over by Monali Thakur, Riya Sen was an eye candy in this movie and has proved what she is capable of. She might not have had a great career in Bollywood but Tollywood has greeted her with arms wide open.
She has done complete justice to her role.She also deserves all the applause considering the acting skills which was required for portraying 'Kamala' – an uneducated village girl who sticks to her husband till the very end and remains committed towards him though he had no particular liking for her.

Raima was as graceful and beautiful as we always see her.

Jishu and Ria in a still from Naukadubi

 Prosenjit Chatterjee's role was short and crisp. He never got the chance to portray much in this movie. But he did complete justice to the role he played.
Moreover we are already aware of Prosenjit's talent from the film ' Moner Manush'. I must say that 'Lalon' has won over 'Nalinakhkha' and 'Arun Chatterjee'.
After his award winning performance in 'Moner Manush' the tag line used in 'Autograph' seems to be very true with a little change in it - “I am Prosenjit Chatterjee, I am the industry”.

The story line of this movie is very simple if we look at it from a cinematic perspective. But Rituporno's treatment and direction has made it an exception and wins everyone's heart. Music has been used beautifully. The choice of Tagore songs and the way it has been used in each and every situation took the film to a different height altogether. Dialogues always play a very important part in Rituporno's movies and there was no exception to it here as well.

Last but not the least, I adored the movie and hopefully others will also do so. And we are also waiting for 'Chitrangada' – the next directorial venture of Rituporno, and as always he will be the winner.

(the above review is written by Arundhuti Dasgupta)

from the Crow's Nest ...

The Detached

We die,
Welcoming Bluebeards to our darkening closets,
Stranglers to our outstretched necks,
Stranglers, who neither care nor
care to know that
DEATH IS INTERNAL.

We pray,
Savoring sweet the teethed lies,
Bellying the grounds before alien gods,
Gods, who neither know nor
wish to know that
HELL IS INTERNAL.

We love,
Rubbing the nakednesses with gloved hands,
Inverting our mouths in tongued kisses,
Kisses that neither touch nor
care to touch if
LOVE IS INTERNAL.
                                      ----- Maya Angelou.

 

from the Crow's Nest ...

diamonds are forever ....

We were talking last night. Through sms. She said, “With an unbalanced girl like me, you have to have a balanced approach.”

I retorted. The revolt-quotient in me reached a high note.

“It’s not like that. You do have a balance. You think you are coal. Daily. Boring. Run-of-the-mill. You know what? You are a piece of diamond. Hard-to-find. Wait till the day you realize this.”

She replied fast. Evidently canceling me out.

“I do not want to be a diamond. I am happy to be an ordinary girl with ordinary dreams. I am happy to be the coal.”

Now 2 roads came up at this point.

One asked me whether it is complacency to limit oneself to coal and not excel towards being a diamond. Or is it plain mediocrity?

Second brought back a memory of an article. Paulo Coelho writes about 4 obstacles. Obstacles that talk exactly about such inhibitions that hold us back from realizing our dreams. Chains that bind us. Keep us happy in our coal-state. Stops us from achieving the diamond-state.

And while my eyes go back to the line “I do not want to be a diamond”, my mind wonders what all stops a person from achieving what she/he aspires for.

Paulo Coelho quantifies the reasons.

We take the 2^nd road.

There are 4 obstacles.

First, we are told from childhood onwards that everything we want to do is impossible. We grow up with this idea, and as the years accumulate, so too do the layers of prejudice, fear and guilt. There comes a time when our personal calling is so deeply buried in our soul as to be invisible. But it’s still there.

If we have the courage to disinter our dream, we are then faced by the second obstacle: LOVE. We know what we want to do, but are afraid of hurting those around us by abandoning everything in order to pursue our dream. We do not realize that love is just a further impetus, not something that will prevent us going forward, and that those who genuinely wish us well, want us to be happy and are prepared to accompany us on that journey.

Once we have accepted that love is a stimulus, we come up against the third obstacle: FEAR OF THE DEFEATS we will meet on the path. We who fight for our dream suffer far more when it doesn’t work out, because we cannot fall back on the old excuse – “Oh well, I didn’t really want it anyway.” We do want it and know that we have staked everything on it and that the path of the personal calling is no easier than any other path, except that our whole heart is in this journey. Then we, warriors of light, must be prepared to have patience in difficult times and to know that the Universe is conspiring in our favor, even though we may not understand how.

Having disinterred our dream, having used the power of love to nurture it and spent many years living with the scars, we suddenly notice that what we always wanted is there, waiting for us, perhaps the very next day. Then comes the 4^th obstacle: THE FEAR OF REALIZING THE DREAM for which we have been fighting all our lives.

Oscar Wilde said, “Each man kills the thing he loves.” And it’s true. The mere possibility of getting what we want fills the soul of the ordinary person with guilt. We look around at all those who have failed to get what they want either. We forget about all the obstacles we overcame, all the sufferings we endured, all the things we had to give up in order to get this far. I have known a lot of people, who, when their personal calling was within their grasp, went on to commit a series of stupid mistakes and never reached their goal when it was only a step away.

What Paulo Coelho writes is a truth we all have faced this far. Life has admonished us about not personally enhancing ourselves, at this point or that. Some of us have listened and moved up the state. Some of us are in progress. It’s the third category that is still holding on to the railing of coal-state, with a dead-man’s hold.

Like my friend on the other side of the phone.

We need a Push-and-Pull at this moment – while these people give themselves a pull to enhance themselves from the core, we should collectively encourage them, give them a push to change their current placid state-of-being.

3 cheers to the effort!!

Acknowledgements -- Paulho Coelho's writing has been taken from the preface of "The Alchemist".
Image courtesy : http://stanleybronstein.com/blog/roadblock.jpg 

from the Crow's Nest ...

Our friend had an interesting insight to share on Facebook. Here it goes…

The post reads "There  is a saying in Assamese ' Samayer tikoni sadaye agot thake" means tail of time is always in front."
And our friend goes on to explain the reason why she shared it -- "9 hrs. office+3 hrs. travel+7 hrs. sleep = 19 hrs. everyday ... left 5 hrs. for bath, cook, read, talk etc. etc. .. Now I understood the meaning of 'Samayer tikoni sadaye agot thake' in real sense."

And as you have read this far, we all should understand that it is the perpetual machinery applicable to the present working class, at this moment. Once work was worship – today you can almost hear the sound of the whip slashing across the bare back of the slave as the incessant sound of “harder – faster” ricochets off the office-cubicles. An incessant downpour of targets is driving the whip harder and deeper through the skins of the employees, the “harder-faster” almost becoming a nauseate chant in the head …

The tail of Time will always be in front – because Time, in an evolutionary phase, has acquired an exploitative nature. Like a scorpion. It attacks you with its Tail – the hideous venom piercing through the resolution you have been holding on to this long. Resolution of being truly dedicated to this job, never to leave this company, swear by the MD’s name et al.

The culture of work or the very definition of work has taken a different route altogether. As we say “Time is Money”, we suddenly realize that it’s a huge circus where the ring-master watches the fun by handing over the whip to you. Or do we?

P.S. Just as an after-thought(esque) addition, my friends understand the graveness of the situation (as evident from the comments that follow the status-update), but partly. It is not only the pvt. Sector, but the public sector too, which has joined the exploitative bandwagon. Attritions, divestments – it’s another huge circus going on, all behind the scenes. We realize it today or prepare for the nemesis tomorrow..in our hands..up to us!